@rolldiggity: If you're in a bar and a newscaster says, "Police report the killer left a small doll at the scene," don't shout, "It was an action figure!"
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@dumbbeezie: My pet bird bit me so I showed him a picture of a rotisserie chicken
@ElleOhHell: "Pray, love, eat." -- A mantis
@: PSA: Don't EVER let your printer know that you've waited until the last minute to print something out and you're in hurry because they can sense fear.
@HeatherLuvsYou: I always check my smoke alarms to make sure they're working. I call it "cooking"
@didifalldown: [God Creating] Lucifer: Make them wake up paralyzed sometimes G: That sounds horrible L: People will love it G: Hm, I trusted you on spiders
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