@rolldiggity: If you're in a bar and a newscaster says, "Police report the killer left a small doll at the scene," don't shout, "It was an action figure!"
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@liv_thatsme: *1st day on prozac* Me: These are awesome! What am I supposed to take tomorrow? Doctor: That was a 30 day supply. Me: Whoops.
@david8hughes: [interviewing for job as assassin] Me: I only have 1 rule Interviewer: lemme guess. No women or kids Me: huh? No, I just won't work weekends
@CoolCamel69: wherever this dart lands is where I'll take a trip to *throws dart and it lands on Hogwarts poster* oh, well this is going to be difficult