@Terdoh: If you're in a Mexican prison, "Jesus loves you" might not be very comforting words...
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@TylerFoFyler: I'm not saying I did terrible things last night, but Satan just woke up on my couch and won't make eye contact.
@xLiserx: Me: *Reenacts the steamy handprint scene from Titanic as I gaze at an eclair inside a glass case* Clerk: You're making people uncomfortable.
@mstluvstrinkets: The look on my husbands face while watching a Victoria's Secret commercial tells me exactly where all my catalogs went.