@Terdoh: If you're in a Mexican prison, "Jesus loves you" might not be very comforting words...
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@Underchilde: I slept like a log, which means my underside was moist and bugs kept crawling up my crack.
@onion_an: Me: I was so happy before I lost my forearms in that shark attack Therapist: How do you feel now? Me: With my elbows
@Brianhopecomedy: They must have had a really good laugh when doctors realized that thermometers could be taken orally too.
@DreamExplosive: Me, hold a grudge? Never. I carry a battle axe at all times and settle any nonsense as it happens.