@tigersgoroooar: if you're in a sports bar but don't understand sports just keep repeating the phrase "damn they gotta get him the ball." everyone will agree
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@Reverend_Scott: [Glass slipper fits on ugly girl with same shoe size as Cinderella] Prince Charming: Um... well. Tell ya what, I'm gonna keep on looking.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: My signature move at family dinners is waiting for someone to put their drink down at the table & then moving it when they go to the buffet.
@tastefactory: *bees surround guy* AHHH GET THEM AWAY "Don't make any sudden movements" *suddenly the Macarena comes on* Oh no...