@tigersgoroooar: if you're in a sports bar but don't understand sports just keep repeating the phrase "damn they gotta get him the ball." everyone will agree
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@StellaGMaddox: I grounded my kid from electronics for a week and now he won't stop talking to me and I think I've made a horrible mistake.
@wettbutt: *wakes up the guy next to me* wow theres a sleepy boy here on this plane haha. Im on business myself. tryin to see if iceland is made of ice
@Flattliner: I'm introducing a new calendar system: B.C. = Before Children. A.D. = After Divorce.