@QwertyJones3: If you're in your car, go ahead and pick your nose, because the car makes you invisible.
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@BonaFideIntent: I just took enough Vicodin to kill a medium-sized Chipmunk. RIP Roy. Roy's the hypothetical Chipmunk. I named him. Has anyone seen my legs??
@ruinedpicnic: "anyone for turkey burgers?" turkey: well sure haha "oh, it's not a burger for turkeys" turkey: what is it then "uhh" turkey: say it
@Pundamentalism: My girlfriend said she wants a fairy-tale life. So I've trapped her in her gran's bedroom with a wolf.
@CatherineLMK: I'm dressing for the weather I desperately want, not the weather I currently have.