@SoVeryBritish: Having to hide your euphoria when a friend says "I'm going to have to cancel tonight"
@Book_Krazy: Him: What? You said I could tie you up and do anything I want.
Me: WELL WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?
Him: Fishing
@just1fool: Coworker:I'll take care if it.
*Translation*
You're gonna take care of it. You just don't know it yet.
@Try2StopME: Friend: "Dude, me & my girlfriend are getting married."
ME: "Wow! when?"
Friend: "Me on 27th April and she on 14th June."
@adult_mom: I turned off the TV today and made my kids play board games like it was 1955 and now I know why all of our grandparents were alcoholics
COMMENTS