@just1fool: If you're looking for someone to tell you what to do in the bedroom I'm pretty good at instructing on how to install window blinds.
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@MichaelTrying: As an atheist I don’t receive many xmas cards and the ones I do disproportionately say “may God have mercy on your soul.”
@amberfw: A mom sat down next to me at the park, smiled and asked, "Which one's yours?" I replied, "None of them... yet."
@dreadnaught69: I hate corporate lingo. Stuff like "core competency" or "design out the problem" or "I'm gonna need you to go ahead and do some work today"