@AndyRichter: If you're not carrying around matchbooks from places you've been recently I don't know why you don't want your murder to be solved
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@BromanConsul: "It doesn't say anywhere that you have to EAT them, you see," I explain to the Olive Garden waitress as my breadstick kingdom adds a library
@Rollinintheseat: Please, person who just said "libary", tell me more about what an avid reader you are.
@Just_Lee_: My horoscope says I will meet the man of my dreams today. Not sure how my husband will take the news but I'm pretty damn excited
@JosesLovesYou: "O honey, it looks like you got your period last night. I guess well need to get new shee- wait! Wait one minute!" ~ Japanese flag designer