@Traceykemp8: If you`re not going to help me break into my ex`s house to delete the hysterical message i left on his answerphone,then you`re not my friend
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@cambuslad: Wife just shouted to me to get my big chopper out .After the panic subsided, I realised she meant we were out of firewood for the stove.
@sock_holliday: [Doctor's Office] Doctor: The bad news is you have 3 months to live. Me: What's the good news? Doctor: You should make it til Shark Week