@FilthyRichmond: If you're not supposed to abuse cough syrup then why does it come with a little plastic shot glass?
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@stevetweeters: Oops. Everyone brought their "see you next year"s to work today and I only brought my throat slashing gesture.
@DanMentos: "Mom guess what I'm getting married!!!" Is he rich? "I think so. His name is Charles Mansion"
@FatherWithTwins: 4yo: Raise your hand if you are young Me: *raises hand 4yo: No, daddy, not you.