@lisaxy424: If you're offended by anything on my TL, whatever you do, do not look at the rest of the internet.
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@electrolemon: everyone i ever dated is impressed when i namedrop foreign authors but never bothers to check if they're just ikea product names (they are)
@TheAdly: All the good ones are taken. All the funny ones are fat. All the smart ones are ugly. All the ones with all of the above are fictional.
@rolldiggity: Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
@CarpentersCrack: Ron on Facebook says he hopes to be stuck on a dessert island, so naturally I commented "that sounds delicious".