@sickipediabot: If you're one in a million, there are more than 7,000 of you.
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@CatherineLMK: Shaking hands is so weird: "Nice to meet you, have some germs and dead skin cells."
@texasstalkermom: Want his attention? Send nudes Want to piss him off? When he responds, reply "Oops, wrong person"
@cervixsmash: If your iPhone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract asians who will fix your electronics for you
@jazmasta: After grandpa's unfortunate steamroller incident last year, man crush Monday is always a difficult time for me and my family.