@bridger_w: If you're pulled over, wait for the cop to lean down to your window, then use their vulnerability to give them a quick peck on the cheek
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@pharmasean: If youre giving mouth-to-mouth, and you don’t want to get germs, you can put a harmonica between your lips and the victim’s
@sonictyrant: Me: i need some decoration for this cake Store clerk: Icing? Me: Yeah and I can beatbox, can we just focus on the cake?
@skullpuppy11: Just like Hitler with the tiny mustache, Kim Jong-Un is ruining that haircut for everyone else.
@jake_likes_naps: *catches up to jogger while wearing the same outfit* good luck shaking the police off loser *sprints ahead while sirens can be heard*