@LizHackett: If you're robbing my house, just bring a second guy to eat a pizza in front of my dog while you take whatever you want.
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@lisaxy424: When the party host collects everyone's coats and throws them on their bed, I just stay in mine and take a nap among the jackets.
@Home_Halfway: What if Rafiki was just holding Simba up to the light to make sure he wasn't counterfeit
@kentgrossarth: The Pope quit. Meteor in Russia. Snowing in Arizona. Star Wars and Star Trek have the same director. Who the hell is playing Jumanji?
@kimwilliamz: The worst thing about admitting you're an alcoholic is that people will expect you to stop drinking.