@roxiqt: If you're single on Valentine's Day, it's not because you're undesirable or unattractive. It's because you didn't take the time to summon a demon & ask it out on a date and that is 100% your fault.
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@D2BMcG: My reaction to most music that has been released in the last ten years is "what did they just say?"
@3sunzzz: I got a gumball machine for my 11th birthday. It was like saying, "Hey I got you a gift but you have to pay $.10 every time you want to play with it."
@DvuslyMarvelous: Twitter is like Gilligan's Island. We have the skills to fix the boat and leave. Instead we stay & learn how use coconuts a 1000 ways.
@ShawnIzadi: Walked into the bathroom and it sounded like someone was powerlifting in one of the stalls. That, or an exorcism.