@slyoung5: If you're starved for time, eat a watch.
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@Dank_Pal: [Job Interview] Sir, it says here you're part of a small group of criminals that primarily kills interviewersoohhhhmygod
@_sinistroll: WIFE: He makes everything into a wood pun ME: This couch has such great lumber support WIFE: See?? THERAPIST: Try to stop ME: Oakey dokey