@Ennui_Raver: If you're such a powerful warlock, why do you have diabetes.
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@torrami: Nine months from now we'll have an adorable, pooping reminder of The Night the Internet Wasn't Working.
@my_minivan_life: Just discovered my 7yo wearing his underwear backwards again. Playing classical music while pregnant is bullshit.
@PS_IRuddYou: If the stick figure people started committing more crimes... I could be a legendary sketch artist for the FBI.
@AndrewChamings: [first day as a celebrity chef] *Just a heartrending 40 minute montage of me struggling to get the potato masher out of the cutlery drawer*