@DothTheDoth: If you're walking past an old abandoned house & the front door opens for no reason, go into that house.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@zachreinert03: I really hope I don't wake up tomorrow morning. I don't want to die, sometime in the afternoon would be nice, or even the next day
@Staggfilms: ME: my mouth is all itchy HER: were you in the attic again? ME: you mean my Free Cotton Candy Room? HER: I'll speed dial poison control
@Playing_Dad: [At job interview] Interviewer: So tell me why you want this job. Me: I have no money and I prefer when I have money.
@lazerdoov: Pretty lame how horses and dogs don't capitalize on their ability to wear 2 pairs of jean shorts at once