@Lisa_Laughs_: If you're wearing Superman undies, but she's a Batman kinda girl, you might as well put your clothes back on.
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@SaraESpivey: I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him GOD, I hope he calls me.
@GrowlyGrego: Apostrophes are important. "I fed the dog" "I f'ed the dog" Learn this simple rule. Your friendship with Sarah McLachlan depends on it.
@5oulhealer: My 7yo gave up a simple joke thats good enough 2 laugh at. Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Cause it was stuck on the chicken's foot!
@david8hughes: [at work] "Mornin, Margaret." "Mornin. You're late today." [looks at watch] "Not as late as your dead husband though, am I?"