@Cheeseboy22: If you're wondering what all these scratches on my chest are from, it's because my cat hates to get in the hot tub with me.
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@Sickayduh: Richard and friend arguing Richard makes good point Richard's friend says mark my words Richard Marx
@internetluke: [talking to zoo attendant as I slowly take out a $50 bill] "No" What? "You can't sit in the Kangaroos pouch" *places $50 back in my pocket*
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: What's the first step of fire safety? 4-year-old: Stay away from dragons. Me: 4: Me: Well, obviously.