@Cheeseboy22: If you're wondering what all these scratches on my chest are from, it's because my cat hates to get in the hot tub with me.
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@vexroid: Cell phone. Recliner. Beer. Not at work. This homeless guy is living the dream from what I can tell.
@huntigula: Jesus: He who is without sin may cast the first stone *guy with no legs throws rock* Jesus: Seriously? "You said 'without shins,' right?"
@FeverFlave: I would rather have a 100 poisonous spiders dumped on my naked body than a second date. Me: So that's a no?
@3sunzzz: You smell wonderful. Can I ask what you're wearing? Sure, it's the perfume sample on page 49 in April's Cosmo.