@CackleClub: If you've been kind to nature, birds will rescue you through your sunroof in a traffic jam and fly you to their kingdom
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@mikefossey: (I get an amber alert for a missing child) OK its my time to shine (I get in my car and back out without looking and instantly hit the kid)
@JediGigi: [beside lady with baby] Her: Smells like someone went poop poop! Does the baby need a change? Me: *blushing* Yes ma'am.
@TheToddWilliams: [butterfly residence] WIFE: You said you'd change, Carl HUSBAND: But I have WIFE: Not really HUSBAND: Uh…I used to be a fricken caterpillar
@TinyNietzsche: Irony walks into a bar the same time as a Coincidence. The bartender asks what they want? "Not to be confused with each other."