@Weird_Rash: If you’ve ever accidentally stepped on a cat’s tail, you’ve seen my wife’s sex face.
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@bfrosty04: Prom night for my 17 year old daughter, or as I like to call it, 'Dad spends the evening sharpening his axe' night.
@shegotagronk: I'm reenacting the War of 1812 with 47 gummy bears so I think the Ambien has finally kicked in. Casualties have been immense... & delicious
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I think it's adorable when kids lose their teeth, they look like tiny meth addicts.