@Smooheed: If you've ever wondered what it's like to try to dress a jelly fish, here, try to get pants on my toddler
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@ieatanddrink: Brad Pitt: Doc, did you ever see my movie "Seven" with me and Morgurt Freeman? Doctor: I think you mean Morgan Brad: Sorry, Morgurt Morgan
@NoogsCorner: Cigarette: Hey buddy. Me: I don't smoke anymore. Cigarette: But buddy. Me: NO. Cigarette: Buddy? Me: You do make a good point. Fine.
@sixthformpoet: People who ask themselves what Jesus would do seem to forget just how badly things worked out for him.