@WilliamAder: If you've got one of those video doorbells, don't be surprised if I do a tight seven-minute set on your porch.
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@SortaBad: [inventing alcohol] What if there were an elixir that made me want to fight a police horse
@Bizarro_Mark: 5 and I are playing "guess the number I'm thinking of" with no limits and no clues. He's guessing sequentially from 1. Talk next week, guys!
@bobvulfov: FACEBOOK: yo remember ur ex from 2 years ago? look at this photo of u together ME: facebook no FACEBOOK: k heres ur dog who died 5 years ago