@maughammom: If you've had a lightsaber pointed at you while you were on the toilet you may be a parent ...or your life is way more interesting than mine
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ThaJawn: *hands note Boss: *reading* 'Please excuse my son from' Ridiculous! You're working! *thinking* I practiced my Mom's signature for nothing
@Sarcasticsapien: I hate the phrase "let me clarify" because it means someone is about to talk some more.
@DougBenson: That was the most exciting race between two stationary vehicles I have ever seen. #GreaseLive
@marcia_bee: Turns out fantasy football is nothing like I thought it would be. Anyone interested in a naughty quarterback outfit? Serious inquiries only.