@maughammom: If you've had a lightsaber pointed at you while you were on the toilet you may be a parent ...or your life is way more interesting than mine
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@Rollinintheseat: Buy a ticket to Finding Dory and yell "She's right there!" every time she comes on the screen until you're escorted out of the theater.
@gf3: me: i'm here for stabbing lessons clerk: sir this is a fencing clu— me: yeah whatever hand me a knife clerk: … me: dress me like a beekeeper
@Spaziotwat: [On The Cross] Jesus:"Father, forgive them, fore they know no-" Voice from the crowd:"DO THE WINE TRICK"
@JasonLastname: If I could meet any celebrity it might have to be David Schwimmer. In a schwimming pool. Learning how to schwim.