@alucardsdream: If zombies ever do attack, I'll just skip coffee that morning. They'll leave me alone because they'll think I'm one of them.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@xLiserx: *Batman happily approaches Batmobile* Wife: Forget it, Bruce! We have two car seats & need to go to Costco. *Defeatedly gets in Batvan*
@iamkevinito: Last night my wife got pissed because I kicked the ice cubes I dropped under the refrigerator. But now it's just water under the fridge.
@gianni_bcn: To show off my "Downton Abbey etiquette" at the gym, I don't throw punches at the punching bag. I just say something witty and cruel to it.