@Jandalize: Ignore her and she'll go away, to buy a gun, but she'll go away.
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@EtobicokeErnie: Statistics show that married men live a lot longer than single men. However married men are a lot more willing to die.
@skylerhanrath: Mike: Mom! We're out of burrito paper! Mom: Dammit Mike, they're tortillas. You're twenty six.
@skickwriter: Six words that strike fear in the hearts of parents everywhere: You've been volunteered as a chaperone
@noog: Welcome to Starbucks how may I help you? "Regular coffee with cream please" That's $40, 5ml of unicorn tears, and 10 dragon scales. "TEN?"