@Jandalize: Ignore her and she'll go away, to buy a gun, but she'll go away.
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@myonlymizztake: When you said you wanted to show me a stiff one, I had no idea you worked in a morgue.
@nathanfielder: Experiment: text your parents "got 2 grams for $40" then right after "Sorry ignore that txt. Not for you" Then tweet pic of their response.
@Michael1979: If you fear that a giraffe has killed your wife and stolen her identity, these are the signs to look out for:
@awordforaword: "Finish your peas. Kids in China are starving" "Finish your math. Kids in America are cheating off the Asian kids"