@bigmacher: #IHaveJustEnoughMoneyTo pay my phone bill so I can call my credit card company to tell them I don't have money to pay them.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Carter_TCB: Just found out men don't need prostate exams till at least 40. I think my doctor has a lot of explaining to do.
@Reverend_Scott: [job interview] Did you really think bringing a puppy with you to the interview would help you get the job? "Yes" WELL YOU'RE RIGHT.
@TomSchally: For as much as they teach you "Stop, Drop, and Roll" as a kid, I really expected to be on fire at least once in my life.