@thepunningman: Ikea said if they catch me stealing any more kitchen utensils I'll be banned for life. But I'm willing to take the whisk.
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@Abusitron: *runs in out of breath* Friend: what's going on? Me: [heavy breathing] bear with me Friend: Ok *waits* *bear runs in, also out of breath*
@yaboydil: Some say global warming is caused by an increase in greenhouse gases, but I know that's a cover up for the truth: too many hot local singles