@BuckyIsotope: I'll always remember what my dad told me right before he died: "of course you're supposed to use that much lighter fluid idiot."
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@euphriae: THERES THIS COUPLE ON THE SUBWAY AND THE DUDE IS SO HEATED AND JUST SAID "HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A BABY PIGEON??? NO!! THATS BC THE GOVERMENT CREATED BIRD ROBOTS TO SPY ON US" AND SHE JUST WENT "KEVIN THERE ARE MIDDLE AGE PAINTINGS WITH PIGEONS" AND HE, AGAIN SAID "THE GOVERMENT"
@caliluvgirl77: Grabs intercom: ANYONE WHO WOULD LIKE TO JOIN MY MILITIA, STAY HERE! WE ARE GOING TO OCCUPY THIS OLIVE GARDEN UNTIL I GET MORE BREADSTICKS
@tsm560: Wishing for bad shit to happen to people you hate is so wrong. You gotta be way more proactive than that.
@krisv_723: *Sees a bum eating out of the trash* That’s so disgusting. I don’t know how they do that. *pulls turkey leg out of my hair & takes a bite*