@BuckyIsotope: I'll always remember what my dad told me right before he died: "of course you're supposed to use that much lighter fluid idiot."
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@Mr_Kapowski: A coworker sent me an instant message mistakenly typing "The cloak stopped working" to which I responded "OMG you can see me?!"
@KenJennings: PERSONALITY TEST: When you read an obit where someone passes away "surrounded by family," do you picture murder, or suicide?
@SteveKoehler22: Turkeys are crazy. They hunch down and freeze in groups in grocery store coolers to elude hunters. Must be a safety in numbers thing.