@BuckyIsotope: I'll always remember what my dad told me right before he died: "of course you're supposed to use that much lighter fluid idiot."
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@Lakelandr: I've eaten enough chinese food in my day that my fortune cookies have started to contradict one another
@nurserycrimes: a romantic scene where we're running toward each other but then i run past you and pick up your dog
@Fickle_Filly: Me: I'm going shopping. Him: If you buy more than one pair of shoes I'm divorcing you. Me: Deal!
@ThisOneSayz: Me: they're coming! 911: can you hide? Me: they'll find me!! 911: stay calm Me: the door is opening...help! "Mooom! We want a snack!!"