@BeCoco77: I'll apologize for burning your house down if you apologize for telling me I "overreact."
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@fire2sweet: Explaining a fountain to a 3rd world country must be weird. 'Yeah we just shoot clean water into the air and throw our extra money into it'.
@stephenjmolloy: [Pilot intercom] Me: "Hello, this is the co-pilot speaking. Not to cause alarm but the pilot has passed out and I lied a lot on my resume."
@JB4Realz: WIFE *stuck on crossword puzzle*: I need a four-letter word for "Identical". ME *also stuck on crossword puzzle*: same.