@KayRants: I'll apologize for last night right after you tell me which parts you still remember.
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@OneFunnyMummy: The toughest test in a marriage is interpreting the statement, "Don't get me anything for Christmas."
@LackOfShame: Boss: Just spend the company's money with the same discretion as you would your own. Me: I understand. *bankrupts the company
@fro_vo: [beach] Me: if a shark stops moving it will die Wife: for the last time you can't kill a shark with a stop sign Me: it's the law diane
@NicCageMatch: No, please, let me give up my subway seat to your 6-year-old child who must be bone-tired from a life consisting mostly of playing & napping