@fro_vo: "i'll be back"
--arnold schwarzenegger getting into a 2-man horse costume
@donsengstack: Jurassic Park 7: Nothing goes wrong and everyone just genuinely enjoys the company of the dinosaurs
@FredPollack: Found a bag of weed in my son's bedroom, absolutely horrified! The thing was practically all stems and seeds.
@rolldiggity: Whenever I see a whirlpool, I scream, "Help! That tornado can't swim!"
@NakedWhiteAss: Hey guys, which cell phone provider drops the most calls? I need to get one for my mom.
@VerifiedJayy: According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, "neighborhood watch" isn't what I thought it was