@hasht4g: I'll be buried in a spring-loaded coffin stuffed w/ tons of confetti. In the future some archeologist is gonna have an awesome day at work.
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@TheToddWilliams: [mission] CMDR: Did everyone sync their watches? ME: Yeah and now it doesn't work CMDR: What? Let me see ME: I can't...it's in the sink
@WillMckenzieNot: At a restaurant: "Would you like a table?" "No, not at all. I came here to eat on the floor. Carpet for 5 please."
@rachel2manypaws: The toughest part of any long distance relationship is the 6 hour drive to slash their tires.