@badbanana: I'll be celebrating my birthday the traditional way, by barging naked into a room full of strangers and crying.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: "I mean if you do the math the most weight I can really gain from the pound of pumpkin pie I ate tonight is only one pound" I thought fatly.
@dhumann: Apparently, Walt Disney was a secret FBI snitch for 26 years so I guess you could say he was a rat who was famous for drawing a mouse.
@Dawn_M_: I tell people I broke my neck playing sports but it was actually from flicking my ponytail to unleash ancient curses.