@badbanana: I'll be signing books at Barnes & Noble from 6 p.m. to whenever they kick me out for ruining all their books.
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@GavinProbably: How did Hitler tie his shoes? In knotsies. (The unfollow button is only a click away)
@JohnsonDiaz21: In college I had 3 girlfriends at the same time. 10 years and a wife later, I have 0 girlfriends. Stay in school kids.
@FeverFlave: Sorry that I passed you vapor rub instead of lip balm but your lips do look as robust as fortified wine now...Does that sting?