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@WilliamAder: I'll be tweeting telepathically today, so if you think of something funny, that's me.
@Steelers1972: There's no easy way to steal a watermelon.
@tweetsvisual: Arugala is my favorite vegetable that sounds like it's drowning.
@KevinFarzad: Language is cool because it's just a bunch of sounds, but put them in the right order & you can make someone cry or you can order tacos.
@_corichardson: [movie date]
me: i snuck in some snacks
me: *holding ramen noodles* do u have any boiling water
@usermcuserface: Agent: I keep telling you, nobody is making a movie with pirates or elves right now!
Orlando Bloom: (through tears)
Are you sure?