@WilliamAder: I'll be tweeting telepathically today, so if you think of something funny, that's me.
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@redpawn3: I could totally handle twins, triplets even quadruplets. Hold it, you're talking about BABIES?
@aparnapkin: If you really wanna honor the spirit of 2017, instead of kissing someone at midnight, push them off a bridge
@JonnyStallone: If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say "in Jesus name amen"