@CroweJam: I'll believe corporations are people when conservatives ban them from marrying each other.
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@lazerdoov: 1. Take pictures of every cat in your neighborhood 2. Make missing cat posters with the pictures 3. Get all the cats
@notacroc: Therapist: what's upsetting you? Wife: he's always using common phrases incorrectly Me: cry me a table, Linda
@thejodiest: I want an app that tells me when someone is thinking about me while having sex with someone else.