@Dutch_50: I'll bet even homeless people look at funeral homes and think, "Nope. I'd rather stay out here."
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@DannyZuker: You can learn a lot about your kids by simply turning off the TV and talking. For example I discovered that mine are really boring.
@david8hughes: [first day as tour guide in New York] Me: that's the Statue of Liberty Guy: what is she clutching Me [awkward long pause]: all the liberty
@Ristolable: I had a teacher in high school who always assumed we'd give the wrong answer. "What's hotter, green or red peppers?" Green "Nope. Green."