@realHamOnWry: I'll bet Miss Piggy kissed a lot of princes before she found her frog.
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: I forgot to bring my bags to the grocery store, people looked at me like I drove there on an aerosol can, then slit a baby seal's throat.
@DanteEvilCat: Silence is golden! Unless you have a toddler, then silence is very, very suspicious.
@ojedge: *turns up to a yoga class in full Master Yoda costume* "Oh dear. Misread the flyer, I have."
@ItsAndyRyan: Convince neighbours you're shrinking by walking past their window with progressively larger jars of hellmann's mayonnaise.