@realHamOnWry: I'll bet Miss Piggy kissed a lot of princes before she found her frog.
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@Home_Halfway: Telling my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage
@Abusitron: As the anesthetic knocks you out, your surgeon washes his hands and misses a really easy shot into the garbage with the paper towel.
@TheToddWilliams: [murder trial] LAWYER: So you unplugged your wife's life support for five minutes? COMPUTER TECH: Sometimes that works.