@Dutch_50: I'll bet the first ever drive thru window resulted in an incredible amount of broken glass.
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@DeadLioness: What we all have in common is how extra stupid we look when we stop everything and focus on removing a stray hair from our tongue.
@JohnLyonTweets: Jiminy Cricket: [singing] Always let your conscience be your g– Me: *sprays insect repellent*
@UncleDuke1969: "Make him press 1 again." "Good." "Now, 3 minutes of silence." "He still there?" "Give him 18 minutes of pan flute." - Call Center Training
@TheDreamGhoul: BRENDA: I brought cookies! ME: I guess I can have one, I've been good all week *eats cookie* *eats entire tray of cookies* *eats Brenda too*