@Sarcasmo718: I'll buy the magic mushrooms, fireballs and flying raccoons but a Princess dating an Italian plumber?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@amydillon: I'm going to donate these clothes I don't wear anymore to charity after I drive them around in the trunk of my car for eight months.
@leshnevsky: Today's 3-year-olds can unlock the smartphone and launch favorite app or music player. What did I do in my 3-year-old? I ate sand.
@DaddyJew: Boss: you're late Me: traffic Carol: he was in his car taking selfies again Me: goddammit Carol, I will cut you
@deardilettante: How's it going? "I'm so glad you asked, really need to talk to someone right now" You're supposed to say 'fine' & ask how I am. Bye.