@SkylarGarland: "I'll catch up with you, I just have to make ONE more joke on Twitter" (How I'd die in a horror movie)
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@The_MartiniGirl: Getting caught under your desk and coming up with nothing in your hand is always so hard to explain.
@JohnHilsen: I suppose I should be thankful that I'm a single adult. Life would be much more complicated if I were multiple adults.
@TheCatWhisprer: Giving somebody a greeting card is the most festive way to deposit $5 into their trashcan.