@Hobo_Splendido: I'll do unspeakable things to you, baby, like vqtkjx and zqkpmr.
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@Birdhumms: Growing up couldn't wait to have a room of my own and do whatever I liked. So why did I end up doing the exact opposite by getting married?
@Scott_A_Gilmore: I gave up and "folded" the fitted sheet into a rope so I could shimmy down from the 3rd floor to escape folding laundry.
@juliussharpe: When I die, I'm not donating my body to science, but I might donate it to the English department and freak the shit out of some people.
@mattr_in_nc: Contrary to popular belief, tigers do not holler if you catch them by the toe. Also, could someone call an ambulance?