@Sassafrantz: I'll do your taxes for free if you tell my mom we're dating.
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@T_Bonezzz_: Her Parents: Tell us how u two love birds met Me: We were in a tweet contest & was added to a DM room & then I gave her a fake trophy HP: ..
@joanofdarkness: I could be happily married to some dude for 50 year an id still be textin ma pals like "omg do u think he likes me???"
@TheCareBare: "Baby last night you were so hot, let's do it all over again this morning." -me, speaking to this leftover pizza.
@The_Sculptress: Every night when you sleep,I sneak into your house, full of desire. I then reduce the amount of marshmallowy treats in your cereal&go home.