@Midgetspar: I'll grow my beard out just so I can knock on a strangers door & whisper, "I'm here to pick your kid up for prom. Either one. I don't care."
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@AimeeHelene1: The best call ever would be "Hey, it's me!", but from your dog... Because: 1. Aww your dog's calling you 2. Holy shit your dog can talk!!
@pizzajaynow: When someone yawns, I like to yell "Surprise Dentist!" and stick my hand in their mouth, which is fun because I'm not really a dentist.
@ItsAndyRyan: Russian computer: "Enter password" Me: "Beef stew" Russian computer: "Password not stroganoff"
@BuckyIsotope: Keep your friends close. Keep your enemies closer. Keep your frenemies in a dark basement filled with bees.