@Midgetspar: I'll grow my beard out just so I can knock on a strangers door & whisper, "I'm here to pick your kid up for prom. Either one. I don't care."
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@GrowlyGrego: Hypothetically, when is the right time to tell your divorce attorney that you've never been married and you love spending time with him?
@badbanana: There was a sense of accomplishment finishing the daily newspaper. I literally have no idea when I'm supposed to stop reading the internet.
@LazerPunch: I read that 83% of prison inmates are Christians...should I be concerned with my safety when I'm up in Heaven?
@IGotsSmarts: My car broke down today. It confessed to a series of hit-and-run murders back in 2006.