@Freudianscript: I'll never be accused of talking behind someone's back, because that would involve talking to people.
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@aksorojas: "Yeah, and she's not breathing. Should I call someone?" "Yes!" "Hello! Yes, hello Pizza Hut, she's not breathing."
@WilliamRodgers: This guy at the bar wouldn't shut up about how Zombies "could be real" So I killed him... If he comes back...He wins the argument
@lecalabara: Why do people ask "What were you thinking?" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain.