@Freudianscript: I'll never be accused of talking behind someone's back, because that would involve talking to people.
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@jergarl: Jocelyn from Facebook will unfriend you if you give her a Blockbuster gift card for her stupid baby shower. I know that now.
@Tommytoughstuff: [Jail] INMATE: I killed a guy. SCOOBY DOO VILLAIN: I got caught trying to haunt an old warehouse by a bunch of teenagers and a talking dog.
@TheRolo: If I check out your blog, what will you do for me? Love me? Ok fine, but you're telling my mom we're going out.