@Freudianscript: I'll never be accused of talking behind someone's back, because that would involve talking to people.
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@sofarrsogud: *makes 9 yr old son memorise my phone number in case he gets lost [He gets lost] *I don't answer my phone as I don't recognise the number
@JustinGuarini: You know you're tired when you kneel on the ground pick something up and then have to decide if it's easier to get up or just live there now
@abrosenthal: A study found that Buzzfeed is the least trusted news source in media. Serves them right for telling me I belong in Hufflepuff.
@FullMetalMommy: My husband brought home one happy meal for two kids. Frankly things would have been less dramatic if he'd brought home a girlfriend.