@GreyDeLisle: I'll never be as horrified as the kid who suddenly realizes they've been following the wrong "mom butt" at the grocery store.
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@TheWoodenslurpy: Marry a man who surrounds himself with good weather and can provide good weather for you and your children.
@MissBamantha: Overheard a girl just say she's full because she ate at 3:00. It's 6:00. How can you stay full for THREE HOURS, alien?
@JohnsonDiaz21: A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it's sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can't really touch anything.
@Home_Halfway: [God inventing iguanas] Maybe humans are done dealing with dinosaurs, but ants aren't