@Shot_Of_Cabo: I'll never call a radio station because I'm afraid they'll give me tickets to go somewhere and do something.
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@MandiAtRandom: Forgot to do laundry again. I bet everyone at work is going to love my prom dress.
@TheUnseenMe: You know that warm feeling you get when you look at your spouse? It's called acid reflux.
@Firawesome: I told you I'm busy! Who are you going to believe, me or the last 20 tweets I posted?
@OneFunnyMummy: I remember Daddy told me fairy tales can come true so any time an old lady offers me an apple or cookie I kill her and bury her in the woods