@pleatedjeans: I'll never forget my 8th grade teacher. She was a 12-foot snake monster. Had 4 heads. Ate 7 desks. Killed a kid. Really made an impression.
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@oakhillbargrill: That tweet is awesome. You guys are awesome. Twitter is awesome. I've made awesome friends on Twitter. A thesaurus would be awesome.
@buhsbaby_baby: As a grown woman with no children or morals to slow me down, I will have a definite advantage during tomorrow's family Easter egg hunts.
@QwertyJones3: [First date] Ok, don't let her know you're a pharmacist Her: Can you pass the salt? "Sure, it'll be ready in two hours."
@Marlinaire: Chinese food to go: $16.84. Gas to go get it: $1.62. Getting home and realizing they forgot one of your containers: Riceless.