@RobDenBleyker: I'll never forget what my grandfather told me before he died. He said "Never forget what I'm about to tell you" then some story about corn.
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@notenoughwine: Women are like bacon: we look good, we smell good, we taste good, and we will slowly kill you
@TheDeadfishSays: I sit in the corner eating my tortillas completely confused by this salsa class.
@AnkCoupleTO: PRO TIP: Using a Starbucks cup to ask for change makes me think I'm worse off than you
@somelightcrying: Ever find a mirror that makes you look really good and you're like oh OK this is where I live now I live in this airport restroom now