@RobDenBleyker: I'll never forget what my grandfather told me before he died. He said "Never forget what I'm about to tell you" then some story about corn.
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@truegritrumble: ME: *looks up from tarot card* So is Death laughing at a smoldering corpse a good thing? PSYCHIC: *wide-eyed* At this point, I don't know.
@FranksGrapjes: 1st date She: I enjoy long walks on the beach. Me: *nod knowingly* Because you want to lose weight.
@DurtMcHurtt: [meeting girlfriend at the park] Her: Surprise! I made us a picnic! Me: *unfolding emergency bib from wallet* Holy shit let's do this.
@nbadag: *exorcism* DEMON: *roars* PRIEST: we must restrain him! WIFE: *opens drawer* here! *tosses fuzzy pink handcuffs* PRIEST: ... DEMON: hey now