@RobDenBleyker: I'll never forget what my grandfather told me before he died. He said "Never forget what I'm about to tell you" then some story about corn.
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@HannahAntics: 30 seconds into Taylor Swifts new song I started hoping Kanye would interrupt her.
@Chumpstring: COP: step outta the car ME: k COP: got any drugs on u ME: nah COP: how about the car ME: wouldn't surprise me. it's been acting funny lately
@ArfMeasures: [End of day 1, building Rome] BUILDER: We've finished, boss BOSS: For God's sake, keep your voice down, we can drag this job out for weeks
@TheReal_AndyMac: The average human walks 900 miles per year and drinks 22 gallons of beer per year. That's 41 miles per gallon...which is not bad.